last year...

As an addendum to the previous entry...

Last year I played 137 tournaments of various buy ins. I was in the money 32 times for a very nice profit. One in five is about what I kind of expect, I can definately live with that.

Books...I love books but am questioning the value of most poker books. I've read all the most recommended ones. Maybe I didn't read them good enough. I'm not giving up on them but...

One problem seems to be that most people have NOT read them. They play nothing like the books would lead you to expect or say is correct. I don't know how those people do long term but I know that they beat me pretty consistently in the short term.

Are poker books for real? Can they really help? Are they a scam? I'm talking here about some of the most recommended ones..."Harrington on Hold'em", "Winning Low Limit Poker" by Lee Jones, "Supersystem", "Theory of Poker" by Sklansky...and many others. They are a mint for their writers no doubt and I honestly feel that they MAY have helped me.

I have no doubt I am a better player than I would be without them...but can they make me good enough to actually be GOOD? This is what makes me wonder if I have what it takes. Am I alone here?

Oh...and yes I realize that my 2005 results added into my 2006 results so far are still in the 1 in 5 range...so maybe I'm just panicking early but 1 for 17 just sucks. So far the hardest part of poker for me is the emotional side which really should not be a surprise now that I think about it....

17-1

That last entry about good news was maybe a tad premature. It WAS no doubt good news but it's about the only good news. I've played 17 tournaments thus far in 2006 and have been in the money one time...one. Can anybody's luck be that bad? Sounds like a skills problem to me...or lack thereof....sigh...

Finally some GOOD news

Ok so it was only a $1 SnG... I just wanted to play and the way things are going was frankly afraid to play for REAL money. Anyway I hung on to win this one. At one point I was down under 10X the big blind and had to push all in I don't know how many times but fate finally shined on me and I actually won the sucker. I put a couple of horrible beats on people but I figure I'm owed a couple...hundred.

It wasn't much but just to finally win SOMETHING was much needed. I may well stick with these little $1 SnG's both single and mult-table until I get a little confidence back. They are probably decent practice for my no-limit game. Even if the competition is hardly the best, it seems to be better than it used to be at this level. At least I finally felt like I had some clue what I was doing. I did not play as well as I'd have liked, I was a bit hesitant and probably a bit timid even but I bit the bullet and got aggressive when I needed to and this time it worked.

Just thought anybody who reads this journal might like to see some good news for once (this one's for you Robin and Connie since far as I know you are my entire readership at the moment).

Wednesday Evening

I thought that maybe instead of dropping down in cash games maybe I'd do better against better players in slightly larger players, thought maybe I'd get sucked out on less. Boy did that not work. Played a $3/$6 game...there went another $68. I'm getting to the point where, while I WANT to play, I'm almost afraid to. I actually dread getting good hands because I just know they will get sucked out on by the river...and they do usually. I wish to hell I knew somebody that could tell me for sure if I can actually play or if I should just take up knitting. Since I know no one who can tell me and I'm not likely to meet anybody I guess it may be time to just give up since my results seem to prove I cannot really play. Another dream shot all to hell I guess...